Archive for marriage

Put a Ring On It

On October 14th, I got engaged to my favorite partner in crime. He is a breathtaking reflection of God’s love for me and my personal reminder of the beauty in the world.  I am blessed just to know him and it is the honor of a lifetime to plan our tomorrows together.

While Sean and I have been on this journey together for the past two years, I believe our walk towards lifelong commitment started long ago with our very first crush. Mine was Jason Hoyle, the love of my kindergarten life. I cracked a smile every time I could see the birthmark on his head in the distance coming towards me. I drew stick figure versions of us on dates during play time. I loved him with every ounce of my five–year-old heart. He inspired my first heart flutters and was the catalyst to beginning my journey of exploring and understanding the ingredients for committed relationships. Over the years, my kindergarten heart flutters developed into crushes and crushes matured to dates. Dating opened the doors to taking on serious relationships and now…here I stand getting ready for nuptials.

There is an unspoken relationship spectrum many of us have found ourselves sliding back and forth across in hopes of discovering that defining love. One thing alone separates the “summer fling” side of the spectrum from the “20th Wedding Anniversary” side: Commitment.

During my engagement period I have been thinking…A LOT, not about wedding cakes and color schemes but about what it means to make a commitment and to live by it and through it. While marriage is often put in a league of its own when it comes to commitment conversations, in reality, every commitment we make or avoid defines the course of our lives in the same manner that marriage defines our direction. We make decisions everyday to flirt with, date, or marry the circumstances of our lives….our jobs, our families, our spirituality, our passions, our purposes and even ourselves. I cannot count the number of times I have flirted with the gym or a better diet or have put myself in a serious relationship with unhealthy beliefs and limited vision.  I have flirted with  career and dated gifts and talents. With each budding relationship, I’m discovering that  how I define my relationship with aspects of my life defines the life I get to live into. In the same way a woman takes on the last name of her husband, the passions, experiences, beliefs, and values we marry create a name for us and determine how our name is spoken and among who.

Who you are and all you will be is a function of your collective commitments. What in your life are you truly married to? Do those things deserve your lifelong vow?  What are you in a serious relationship with  that needs to be downgraded to “just friends?” Are you married to your purpose or dating your destiny? In the words of the great prophet Beyonce, if you like it then its time to ” put a ring on it.”

The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions.
William F. Scolavino

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